It's Time For Us to Fight Back Against Movie Theater Talkers

Most of us already know that it's NOT socially acceptable to talk during a movie. But to those of us who weren't born in a barn, these rude movie-goers are still a constant burden. It's time to fight back, dirty.

With Avatar in theaters, the stakes are simply too high to risk losing a film to some pudgy fat boy film school drop out who is convinced his personal commentary is just as important as the countless hours of work that have gone into the filmmaking process.

The following are a list of rules and responses that I feel, as a society, we need to deem socially acceptable to assimilate into our communal fabric.

6-Inch Voices, Or Group Humiliation
I know I'm coming off rude already. The occasional quiet comment to the person beside you, that's totally fine by me. But If I can hear you from over two seats away, chances are, you need to shut the fuck up (throughout life, possibly, but definitely in the theater). If a person makes loud comments that a single "shhh" doesn't thwart, everyone around them should stand, point and loudly ask them to leave (with liberal use of expletives). It'll be a painful, distracting experience, but chances are, it won't be needed again.

Really, It's OK To Tell People to Shut Up
I know I just made this point, but I want to make it abundantly clear: telling talkers to shut up is OK. You are doing all of the shy, weak and first daters who want to enjoy a movie but not lose out on a potential post-film grope a huge favor. Let's just make an oath, right now, to support one another against the talkers, be they intimidatingly muscley or not. Let's acknowledge a silent brotherhood, poised to attack at the slightest breach of conduct.

If You Pull Out a Cellphone During a Movie, You Relinquish All Rights to It
I don't care if you have it's on vibrate or turned to silent. Any cellphone pulled from a pocket during a movie—most probably a Sidekick—that's glowing in the corner of the entire audience's eye is now communal property. It can and should be yanked from the offender's hand and chucked across the room to break against the nearest hard surface. The offender's head is one such potential surface.

Bathroom Exits, OK, Refills, Not OK
We've all overestimated the endurance of our bladders. And as you grow older, you realize that uncontrollable bodily functions are something we all just need to be adults about. If someone walks out during a pivotal scene because they NEED to go, well, that's alright. But if they take their empty popcorn bucket with them, proceed with skepticism. Do they look like they needed to use the bathroom while they were up? No? Then tripping them on the way back is totally Kosher.

Honor Those Who Watch Credits
In the theater, credits are part of the film. It's your option to watch them, but should you elect not to, do not disturb those around you who enjoy finishing a film by celebrating all those who made it possible. That means, no standing in front of someone seated to finish the credits (a quick, polite pass is OK). And maybe save that thing you NEED to say for the hallway or the parking lot, rather than voice it right as the film fades to black. Offenses in this realm will not elicit punishment, but you may be deemed "tacky."

Oh, But None Of This Applies to Kids Movies on a Tuesday Afternoon
Once again, I'm not an evil or malicious person (by nature). If you're watching some Shrek sequel, especially during a matinee, pretty much anything goes—for children. Adults who are offending any of the above rules in ways not directly resulting from or related to a child's actions are fair game for fair punishment.

And if you have any points or suggestions that I may have missed, please, please, please list them in the comments. Two people can easily drop $40 and and a free evening to see a movie. And the first time you watch something truly special can never be rekindled.

Let's band together and see to it that movie talkers STFU for good.

How to be a Domestic Goddess and serve breakfast with a hangover

At this time of the season, Christmas to be specific comes the time when we feast, dine, drink unknowingly in excess. There's nothing wrong since Christmas is just a good and extravagant excuse to eat drink and catch up with friends and relatives. There comes the time when we come home tired, a bit tipsy from the drinks that we crave for something just to ease the hangover of the party whether its the too much to eat or too much to drink hangover, though I think we suffer from the latter.

My version of Mexican scrambled eggs doesn't require the fanciest of ingredients though hearing the word "Mexican" sounds like a workload I reassure you its not.

What you'll need:

Roughly chopped red or green chilli, spring onion and one tomato

Worchester sauce

One soft tortilla wrap

2 eggs, to treat yourself or 4 eggs to indulge.

Chop first the chilli, spring oinion and that one tomato. It is wise to de-seed the tomato if you like as it makes the eggs runny and I don't like runny eggs. For the chilli-hesitant, the bigger the chilli the milder it is, so feel free to use any size of chilli that you feel comfortable with. The sizzling hot warmth of the chilli provides that cleansing from that hangover. Roll the tortilla wrap and cut it down to strips raining it down towards the hot frying pan. Once slighty toasted remove from the pan and replace it with the chopped chilli, spring onion and tomato. Immediately break the eggs directly to the pan and scramble them down to the consistency that you like. I prefer my eggs softly cooked. Add in a few sploshes of Worchester sauce for some added earth depth and tang to contrast the spicy edge of the chilli. Throw back in the toasted tortilla strips and quickly scramble the egg. Serve hot on a plate.

Serves 1 with a hangover.

Brittany Murphy DIES! Did Drugs Lead To Her Demise????

We are in absolute shock.

Actress Brittany Murphy passed away on Sunday morning in Los Angeles at the age of 32.

People just don't typically die at 32 of natural causes!!!!!!!

Absolutely devastating. Especially because this comes as no surprise! We, and those who knew Brittany personally, saw this coming. That does not make this any less horrible.

Murphy reportedly went into full cardiac arrest and her mom immediately called paramedics to save her daugther. Murphy was announced dead on arrival at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles after paramedics and doctors could not revive the 8 Mile actress.

Our thoughts are with her family and friends during this extremely difficult time.

Source [TMZ.com]

First Look At Iron Man 2

The trailer for the highly anticipated sequel to Iron Man has been released.

We must say, Robert Downey Jr. is looking good!

And Mickey Rourke. Well, we have the same feelings we did when we saw the poster.

Check out the trailer (above)!

Thougts???

Not Yet, Sorry, Not Yet [Screengrab]

 

Final Fantasy XIII is released only on the PS3 in Japan — as seen on 2ch.

Video Game Timeline: A 2-Minute Crash History Course

It's a great divide. Many of our readers watched as video games were born and developed to this day. Others never knew a world without friends lists and Live accounts. Regardless of your background, this timeline will catch you up.

(Click image for full-size pop-out.)

Some notables are missing, from 3DO to the Jaguar to even the infamous Virtual Boy. But you should gain some perspective all the same while we wait for the inevitable Failed Video Game Timeline follow-up. [Online Education via GoNintendo]

Tiger Loses Another Endorser

Looks like Nike may be the only company backing the adulterer. For now.

Following on the heels of Tag Heuer Gilette's announcement, global consulting firm Accenture said on Sunday they are no longer associating themselves with Tiger Woods.

The firm believes Tiger is "no longer the right representative" after it's been revealed that he's banged at least 13 different whores.

We're guessing his "Be a Tiger" ad campaign takes on a whole other meaning now.

So, who's next to drop Woods?

Rourke Is Whiplash!

In the new poster for Iron Man 2, here's your first glimpse of Mickey Rourke as villain Whiplash.

Good thing the face is shadowed.

Too scary!

Sex and The City 2 Poster - Your first look!

Here's the first official poster for the highly anticipated Sex and the City 2!

We're not sure how much we like this. It's a touch…futuristic, no?

Thoughts???

University Of Michigan Wants To Cut Costs By Eliminating Semen In The Showers

Although this is the result of pranksters, it still doesn't hesitate to bring the LOLs!

Students at the University of Michigan put up a flyer to illustrate the detriment of masturbating in group bathrooms - because pipes in the halls are not meant for semen!!!

Loves it!

Japan's Subway Etiquette Posters Warn of Drunkeness, Cuddling and Crying Women

Since 2008, Japan's subways have kindly asked that you do certain things at home, the beach or in your yard—anywhere but the train. But without reading the text, these images leave a lot of room for my misinterpretation...

Do not share food or love in front of a sad, injured man. He's in enough pain without you rubbing it in.

On a train, never, ever feed your shoe beer. Dude can't hold his liquor.

During fits of train hail, under no circumstances should you swing at the ice chunks. They will multiply and occasionally crap, a la bird, onto other passengers.

Don't dive into a train. Because if you get caught be the doors, people will stand idly by while your body is ripped into two. Save such carnage for the beach, where the blood is easily cleaned up due to copious amounts of sand.

Sticking your fingers into your headphones will not block the sound from your ears. And please conduct such experiments at home.

Women should never talk on the phone, no matter what emotion they exude. It's a known pervert fetish.

OK, this is the one shot where I kind of feel bad for the strange man in the glasses. WTF hikers!

If you are grasping a handle and find you forgot to wear deodorant, lift yourself above the crowd. Wait, no, keep your arms up and make people smell it. Wait, no, lift yourself.

[Adme via copyranter via boingboing]

Will New Resident Evil Movie Be Delayed?

Upcoming Hollywood flick Resident Evil: Afterlife has been announced for release on August 27, 2010, but reports have surfaced that the movie will be pushed back to January 14, 2011.

Afterlife is the first film in the series to be filmed in 3D, and the rumored delay is due to the extra time needed to complete the movie's CG special effects.

The film's star, Milla Jovovich, has tweeted that the movie has not officially been pushed back, writing, "RE Afterlife IS NOT officially pushed. There have been talks of pushing it as they [are] not sure they can have it ready by July. We [are] trying as hard as we can to still meet the summer deadline though, so for the moment its still on for August."

For the moment.

Update: Resident Evil: Afterlife Pushed Back to 2011 [ShockTillYouDrop.com]

'A 10-Year-Old Can Do It Blindfolded!'

 

There is so much odd and potentially wrong in regards to this vintage dishwasher ad, I don't even know where to begin. [Flickr via copyranter]

Unlikely duo, a smash hit

 

All I can say is electrfying. I got myself the song and I started dancing on the street. Appears on Lady GaGa's "The Fame Monster."

Happy 15th Birthday, PlayStation!

It all began 15 years ago today. On December 3, 1994, Sony released the PlayStation in Japan. The rest, as they say, is history.

Yes, it's hard to remember now, but there once was a time, before WipeOut, before Tomb Raider, before PaRappa, that Sony entering the gaming business didn't sound like such a sure bet.

There was a failed attempt at a CD-based system in partnership with Nintendo. There was the fact Sony were an unproven force in a market dominated by Nintendo and Sega. And the PlayStation's approach was all so adult.

Time, of course, has proven any doubts unfounded. The original PlayStation blew people's minds from the moment it launched, and its successor - the PS2 - is still the #1 selling video game console of all time. So it too did OK.

True, things haven't quite been the same for the company since, with both the PSP and PS3 failing to achieve the same level of market dominance. Oh well. There's still plenty of time left for both platforms (well, at least the PS3, which has been coming along in great strides all year), and besides, today isn't a day for nit-picking.

It's a day for clinking glasses. Happy birthday, PlayStation. Think it's safe to say the video game business wouldn't have been the same without you.

(History buffs/Sony fans might want to check out this celebratory site, which is quite neat. It even has the ducks!)

How to be a Domestic Goddess and still be fussy in the kitchen

I like to make an unfussy rice and tomato soup (for myself, too, sometimes, especially when I'm trying to balance out my characteristic gluttony) by diluting a good, bought tomato sauce with water, adding a handful or so of basmati rice, and cooking until the rice is tender, about 8 to 10 minutes. For preference it makes more sense to leave the soup fairly solid, but you can add water from a boiled kettle toward the end of cooking time if you want a thinner soup rather than liquid tomato-rice stew.

 

What you'll need:

1 jar tomato sauce

2 cups water, or more as needed

1 cup basmati rice (or a handful of rice)

Parmesan

 

Of course the rule of cooking rice is using the 2-to-1 ratio, that means for every cup of rice you put in 2 cups of water. Just throw in the jar of tomato sauce. You can just leave it alone for 8-10 minutes until the rice is cooked. Fluff it with a fork if the rice sticks together and form lumps. Grate Parmesan on top and eat - with bibs. Mid-week food crisis delectably averted.

First Iron Man 2 Poster: Ker- Boom

Ho. Lee. Crap. The first (real) teaser trailer's coming in December, but after seeing this poster, I don't know if I can't wait that long. And yes, I know today is December. [Yahoo via Ain't It Cool]

Netherlands Hospital Blackout Blamed on Silent Hill

A psych ward patient in Holland skated on an insanity plea after he killed power to an entire hospital thinking he was solving a puzzle in Silent Hill.

You might have heard of this, but a month ago or so, Jan H., the patient, shut down power to Sophia Hospital in the Netherlands thinking that by doing so he could acquire a toothbrush that would complete a puzzle. The hospital lost power for 45 minutes, stranding some folks in elevators and forcing doctors to resort to manual efforts to keep intensive care patients breathing. No one was hurt. (Poor No one.)

Turns out Jan H. skated on - what else - insanity. A court ruled he had "no idea of the true consequences of his deed."

Man Found Not Guilty After Blacking Out Hospital [24 Oranges via OffGamers]

Custom Band-Aid Machine Covers Any Length of Cut

Normally, Band-Aids are a fine size for any minor cuts I have. But what if I have a huge wound and I don't have health insurance? I need an unreasonably large Band-Aid, dammit!

This custom Band-Aid machine is a mere concept at the moment. And while being able to make custom-sized Band-Aids seems like a good idea, the fact that this can really only make very long and thin Band-Aids make me wonder how useful it would really be. If I lose a finger, for example, I'll need something that's more of a square. That'd be the more sensible choice than wrapping one long one around the stub. I mean, come on! [YankoDesign]