Pop Diva Checks Out Final Fantasy XIII On Xbox 360 and PS3

UK pop star Leona Lewis is singing the theme song for the Western version of Final Fantasy XIII. And because she's doing that, she gets to check out the Xbox 360 version.

This is apparently the Xbox 360 version running on an HD television screen. What does Leona think?

"It's amazing," she says. "I just want to run around the land all day." So noted.

What makes this interesting is not some singer playing the Xbox 360, but that this FFXIII promotion ad features footage off the game running off a TV screen and not direct feed footage.

Because when the game runs off a TV screen, it looks like this. Square Enix is typically strict about taking photos of the TV screens, because the images can never do optimal justice to the way the games look.

But here you go, images of what is apparently the Xbox 360 version of Final Fantasy XIII on a television screen.

And as commenters have pointed out, there is a PS3 version of this clip as well — likewise with footage of the game running off a television. Wonder if these promo ads mean Square Enix will allow the photography of monitors running their games at E3 and TGS.... Probably not!

In Japan, Final Fantasy XIII has been released only on the PS3, while in the West the game will be released on both the PS3 and the Xbox 360.

Source That Girl's Site

A Handy Guide to All Gay Men

The gay world is often represented as some sort of monolithic whole that has the same culture. That is a lie. It is actually broken down into a handful of substrata to which each gay belongs. Here they are.

Just like the world at large may stereotype gays as mincing wrist flippers with great taste bent on giving everyone they meet a make over. A queer will tell you that we are all individuals and that those stereotypes are false and horrible. That said, when the gays see a fellow homosexual in the public sphere, we try to plug them into the convenient taxonomy the community has made for itself. That's right, we have our own stereotypes for each other, and they're much more specific than you can ever imagine. They may not be very familiar to the world at large, but they are certainly familiar to the brothers in butt fucking.

To say that each gay person belongs to one of these types is a bit deceptive. It's like saying that every woman is either a Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda, or Samantha (Though I'm a Miranda, thank you.) There are plenty that fit the mold for each squarely, but most are really a combination of the types, or like to think of themselves as individuals, even though they still have many of the traits from one of the pre-selected identities. These aren't the stereotypes of the world at large, they are the ones we have invented for ourselves, and they are just as reductive. Each of the groups tend to hang around only with members of the same groups, and they all have their own bars, parties, music, customs, ways of dress, and intricate mating rituals. Please, meet the homosexuals.

Twinks
Body Type: Thin, smooth, often blond, usually with longish bangs and often with highlights.
Description: This young breed of gays is never over 30 and tends to be on the queeny side and hews closely to the conventional stereotypes of gay man. Wild, ornery, and still getting over their coming out issues, the twink is the gay gone wild, and is bait to older men who are into trying to suck off their youthful energy.
Subcategories: The Twunk, the Gay-sian, the A&F boy.
New York City Hang Out: Rush, Campus Thursdays at Splash
Diva of Choice: Lady Gaga
Preoccupations: Fashion, drama, partying, hooking up, college, coming out
Top or Bottom: Bottom, they want it all in!
Celebrity Example: Zac Efron

Bears
Body Type: Large, hairy, often with facial hair
Description: The bigger, generally older subset of the population is new but increasingly popular both in the community and pop culture. They have their own social calendar that is well populated with events to support the flannel-clad butch lifestyle of beards and beer guts.
Subcategories: Cubs, Otters, Wolfs, Gorillas
New York City Hang Out: Woof!, Snaxx, Nowhere
Diva of Choice: Cyndi Lauper
Preoccupations: Food, hair, coming up with silly bear puns, Tom Colicchio
Top or Bottom: Top, their rule, whoever is bigger is the top.
Celebrity Example: Kevin Smith

Gay Jocks
Body Type: Athletic, muscular, possibly gone-to-seed
Description: This guy prides himself on the fact that no one thinks he is gay until he tells them. His love of sports is just about the only unaffected aspect of his masculinity. He wears T-shirts and ball caps with his favorite team logo, and likes guys who are "non-scene," unless the scene is a gay sports team.
Subcategories: Gay football players, gay soccer plays, gay rugby players, etc.
New York City Hang Out: Gym Bar
Diva of Choice: The guy who sings "Are You Ready for some Football."
Preoccupations: Passing, talking tough, locker rooms, fantasy football
Top or Bottom: Top, of course
Celebrity Example: Esera Tualo

Circuit Boys
Body Type: Muscular, waxed, preened, most usually with tribal tattoos
Description: This subset rose to prominence in the '90s around the drug-fueled, all-night dance parties that were in different cities around the country. While it has few new recruits, its core population is die-hard and aging quickly. Many of the parties have died off, but they're still dancing to bad tribal house wherever they can.
Subcategories: Tweekers, muscle Marys, those queens who twirl flags at dance parties
New York City Hang Out: Alegria
Diva of Choice: Deborah Cox remixed by Junior Vasquez
Preoccuptions: Pecs, ecstasy, house music, conformity, backne, the afterparty
Top or Bottom: Bottom, though they prefer calling themselves 'Versatile.'
Celebrity Example: This is such a specific type it doesn't really exists in the world at large, but the Platonic ideal of a circuit boy is DJ Brett Henrichsen

Gay-Listers
Body Type: Body toned by the personal trainer, hair done by celebrity stylist, wardrobe picked out at Barneys
Description: These are the uppity homos live the good life, and are generally too good for you. They only like to talk to each other. They usually work in advertising, PR, marketing, or the entertainment industry and make a ton of cash which they use to have perfect apartments, fantastic wardrobes, and summer homes near all the other gay-listers. You can try to get invited to their parties, but you will never belong.
Subcategories: Power gays, the velvet mafia
New York City Hang Out: Beige
Diva of Choice: They're probably friends with Madonna
Preoccuptions: Looking good, work, HRC dinners, summering as a verb, what everyone else is doing, hooking up with each other, the steam room at the gym
Top or Bottom: Preferably Top as much as possible, they do have a reputation.
Celebrity Example: Andy Cohen

Show Queens
Body Type: They come in all shapes and sizes, from the young, spry dancer to the balding, pudgy critic.
Description: These are the kids who are so gay they could never fit in during high school and sought refuge in the music department. They have devoted their lives to performing, show tunes, and learning all the words to very obscure songs. They often work in theater or the arts in one way or another, be it on the Great White Way or as a high school drama teacher.
Subcategories: They are only defined by which diva they love most.
New York City Hang Out: Marie's Crisis
Diva of Choice: Liza, Judy, Barbra, Elaine Stritch, Patti LuPone, Ethel Merman, Sutton Foster, Bernadette Peters
Preoccuptions: Original cast recordings, collecting Playbills, karaoke, out of town previews, Puck on Glee's abs, outing Hugh Jackman
Top or Bottom: Bottom
Celebrity Example: Neil Patrick Harris

Art Fags
Body Type: Emaciated, tattooed, usually with some sort of ironic facial hair and an enormous coif.
Description: The art fag is cooler than you. He's also cooler than all your friends, and he is not afraid to show it. He is usually an artist (duh), photographer, fashion designer, band member, or something that requires a degree from RISD, FIT, or some other art school that is an acronym. He dresses either in the most current prissy fashions or a like a homo version of Terry Richardson, in big glasses, flannels, and jeans that looks so thrown together that it took him hours to put together. You're more likely to find them at a gallery opening or model party, but every so often they'll be at a gay bar to rub elbows, and other parts, with the other homos.
Subcategories: Alternaqueers, gipsters
New York City Hang Out: The Cock
Diva of Choice: Peaches
Preoccuptions: The hottest club, looking down on things, cheap coke, being bohemian, the outer boroughs
Top or Bottom: Bottom
Celebrity Example: Marc Jacobs

Drag Queens
Body Type: Either big, buxom Divine style or svelte and RuPaul-esque.
Description: This is a very small but very powerful contingent of the gay population. The drag queens are not only the court jesters of the gay community, dressing up like clowns for our entertainment, but they are also a bridge to the straight world. As much as gay men appreciate the queens for their looks, wit, and shade, straight people love a drag show even more than the queers do. Somehow they manage to be the most outrageous segment of the population and the most embraced, making the rest of us look positively boring by comparison.
Subcategories: Club kids, trannies.
New York City Hang Out: Pick a bar, any bar.
Diva of Choice: Oh, honey. They are each their own diva.
Preoccuptions: Shade, wigs, annoying jerks who ask for too many drink tickets, other queens biting off their look, lip syncing, straight guys
Top or Bottom: Bottom
Celebrity Example: RuPaul

As for me, I'm a Show Queen.

Hey Korean Kids, Let's Learn Leetspeak And Internet Slang

If you've spent any time on the internet (welcome!), then you have probably come across leetspeak and internet slang. But what is online lingo in one culture might be different in another.

None of this matters if you are still learning the standard language.

This South Korean text book is not just teaching words like "zebra", "zero" or "yak". It is teaching much more.

OMG: Oh My God
W2F: Way to Fail
STFU: Shut the Fuck Up
PWN3D: Pwned
URANOOB: You're a Noob
LMAOROTF: Laughing My Ass Off, Rolling on The Floor

There's also a :p — or a smiley face sticking its tongue out. Good to see these South Korean students are subliminally learning important things like "STFU".

Source: Korean ESL Textbook - OMG!

Ambassador calls for divorce after veil-wearing Muslim bride reveals a beard and crossed eyes

 

An ambassador to Dubai has annulled his marriage: his bride had never revealed herself, wearing the full Islamic face-covering Niqab on the occasions the couple had met. After the wedding he tenderly lifted the veil to kiss her...

...which is when, according to the DailyMail UK, he found she was "cross-eyed and had facial hair." The mysterious ambassador — who is revealed only to be from "an Arab country" — told a Sharia court that his bride's mother had tricked him by showing him pictures of her sister. (Not pictured.)

The court agreed to let him annul, but refused a claim for $100,000 in compensation for gifts he'd bought his special bearded lady.

It's been quite a week for broad humor from Arabic countries. Earlier it emerged that esteemed Pakistani diplomat Akbar Zeb had been refused a position as ambassador to Saudi Arabia. Because his name, in Arabic, apparently means "biggest dick."

Source: DailyMail UK

A Contract for the Gay Guy/Straight Guy Friendship

While not as fraught or as common as the friendship between gay guys and straight girls, sometimes the butch and the femme want to come together in a Platonic fashion. This is great for both parties. Many gay men experienced teasing and torment in their younger years by the big, butch jocks and other assorted heteros in their high schools and this is a great way to get over the bullshit of daily name calling and atomic wedgies in the boys' room. For straight guys, having a homo friend is a fine way to get over homophobia as well as welcoming him into the modern world of diversity and acceptance for all.

But straight guys, there are a few things we need to work out first. Don't expect that we're going to be the guy you point to when you have to say, "I love gay people! I'm friends with a gay!" and we're not just going to let you draft off all our straight lady friends so that you can run off and make the future generation of babygays (but thanks for that). This should be a relationship of equals based on strictly above-the-belt affection and shared interest. We may be on different teams, but as men we're all playing the same sport.

Get Into Our Things: Here we are at your XBOX 360 Mass Effect 2 party trying to pretend that we care about Commander Shepeard and drool about the alien sex scenes. The thing about mainstream culture is that it is pretty much made for straight boys. We probably already listen to similar music, see similar movies, and watch similar shows, so we have lots of common ground. But don't be afraid to open your mind up to the things we think are cool because they might brand you "too gay." After all, Lady Gaga and America's Next Top Model are practically mainstream these days, so you should know them. Also, your girlfriend might give you a BJ once she finds out about your new-found love of Project Runway. You're welcome.

We Don't Want to Have Sex with You: A common reaction among straight boys to meeting a gay is to get all skeeved out thinking he is about to get hit on. Sorry, you're not our type. Just like the straight guy doesn't want to have sex with every woman, we don't want to have sex with every guy. First of all, we know you're straight and aren't interested. Second of all, there are plenty of gay guys that we don't even want to have sex with, the fact that you are ugly and straight just gives you two strikes. So relax, straighty, we don't want to have sex with you any more than you want to have sex with Janet Reno.

...Unless You Are Hot: If you are hot, then we definitely want to have sex with you. Actually, being attractive and a labia-lover makes us want you twice as bad. It's a challenge. So, yes, we're going to flirt with you and try to woo you in a very obvious way. You should be flattered. This will stop eventually once we realize that you really are straight and we are more interested in going to the movies together than sharing a bed. That's not to say if at any point during the course of our friendship you get drunk and try to make out with us, we'll stop you.

We Don't Want to Make You Over: We don't care that you only pay 50 effin' pesos to get your haircut, don't wax your eye brows, buy clothes at discount stores, and don't wear underwear with names that look like algebra equations. That's part of your appeal, so don't get worried thinking that we're trying to change you. If you want some advice or to go shopping together, that's cool, but we aren't just going to be the guy that helps you look good. There are gays you hire to do that. They're called stylists. I'm not.

...Unless You Make Us: We don't want you looking too fussy, but there are some things we just aren't going to abide. Like Tevas. If you show up for a bike ride in the park wearing Tevas, we are going to make fun of you for hours while forcing you to ride directly to the nearest shoe store for suitable footwear. The same goes for errant nose hairs, mismatching outfits, and anything with visible holes or stains. Everyone should have standards.

Don't Be Offended If We Ask for Help with Butch Things: Just like we don't mind giving mild shopping and grooming advice, please don't be upset if we ask you to show us how to repair things. There are plenty of gay guys who know how to wield a hammer and work a caulk gun, and there are plenty straight guys who don't, but we're still going to ask for help. If you wish, politely decline and tell us there are straight guys who hire to do that. They're called handy men.

Know When a Guy Is Attractive: If we ask you if a guy is hot, you have to respond. Don't give us that socially conditioned, "Oh, I don't look at guys like that," bullshit. We're not asking you to hold his dick, just give us a gauge of how handsome he is. We know whether or not a girl is smokin', and you won't think twice about asking us, so we expect the same in return. You have seen enough men's magazine covers to know what is considered conventionally attractive, so just go based on that. Or better yet, ask us what our type is. Hearing what kind of guys we're into isn't going to make you want them as well, and we appreciate your getting to know us better.

Be Comfortable Enough to Talk about Sex, but No Lady Business: To be our friend, you have to accept that we are sexual beings and we are going to want to talk about sex, and we welcome you to do the same, but let's both agree that not going into too much detail is best for everyone. Be as excited for us when we take a trick home from a bar as you would if one of your bros bags a chick. Even ask us if it is good—and we promise to do the same. That said, we're not going to make you uncomfortable by going into the logistics and talking about dick size and whatnot. We'll save that for our gay friends. Same goes for you and the lady parts. We want you to have as much sex as possible, but save the pussy talk for someone else.

You Are Welcome in Our Bars, but We Get Your Run Off: Going out with a group of gays to a bar is a great way for a straight guy with a jealous or suspicious girlfriend to go out with the guys and get wasted. They're not going to get into any funny business with a bunch of gays, and you might even have a drink bought for you for a change! Now, remember not every gay guy is going to want to sleep with you, but some might hit on you. Be polite and just tell them you're straight. Also, if they are cute (and you now know that you can admit it), please introduce us. Heteros invented the "wing man" so it's a role you know how to play. If the poon-chaser a gay brings to a sausage party is single, then we will definitely hook him up with any straight girls in attendance, especially if she has cute slutty friends for us to take home too.

Remember, We're All Men: Just because we've seen another dick up close doesn't mean that we don't have one ourselves. We still have the same masculine tendencies you do. Do not refer to us as "girl," make jokes about our manliness, or assume that we're going to be the one to stop and ask for directions just because we're gay. In fact, we may be even butcher and know the infield fly rule better than you do, so don't fuck with us, because we'll cut a bitch, girl.

Will and Dis-Grace: A Contract for the Gay Guy/Straight Girl Friendship

Thanks to make-over shows and reality television, every girl in the planet thinks that they need "a gay." Sorry, ladies, but gay men have no interest in being your pink, glittery accessory. In fact, there are some rules for these relationships.

The latest instance of this behavior to piss us off is Wendy Atterberry pleading for some gay attention on The Frisky. She needs a gay cause she's married now and needs someone who can fix her bad-hair-day hair, make snarky comments about the Oscars, and enjoy long brunches with plenty of gossip! She wants a little, lisping lad to run around screaming bon mots and tossing out fairy dust like Carson Kressley on a meth binge. Sorry, but we are sick of this.

For straight girls to want to find a "gay best friend" is like a white person trying to get "down with the blacks." These ladies want to fall in love with some Platonic ideal of gay friendship where they have some sexless being who caters to their every whim, the court jester to their princess. They fetishize our sexuality and don't see that gay people are actually real, honest individuals, not a set of Madonna-loving stereotypes (though we do love us some Madge). On the flip side there is the "fag hag," a needy-drama laden women who collect gay men and lose themselves in their drama so they don't have to face their sad, lonely lives. The loser in both scenarios is the gay boys.

That's not to say gay men and straight women can't be friends. In fact there are many well-documented cases of it happening, bu t— like any good friendship — it has to be a relationship of equals based on shared interest and affection. Before we can get there, there are some ground rules to get out of the way, ladies.

No Setting Us Up: This is very, very important. Never, ever, try to set us up with another gay. We know that you just want us to be happy and in a relationship and want to show how cool you are that you know other gays, but we're not interested. We can already tell that he's not our type. Like everyone else, gays are very picky and like to find mates on their own. If we meet at your birthday party and hit it off, great, but please don't arrange for an awkward coffee date.

We Don't Want to Go Shopping: Yes, plenty of gay men design women's clothes and many like watching them on the runway (and on Runway) but going with you to a store that has a tiny men's section or no men's clothes at all for the express purpose of telling you if your ass looks fat is not our idea of a good time. Really, what do we get out of this? And if you trust your gay friends to do your shopping, you're going to be in miniskirts and hooker heels every day, and that is just not practical unless you are a Real Housewife or a stripper.

We'll Give You Sex Tips, but No Lady Business: No one knows how to please a man like another man, and we don't mind sharing you all the things we learned in that steam room in Fitness First, but, please, leave your vagina out of it. We don't have them, and we barely know what they look like let alone how to operate one to successful orgasm. These are questions for your lady friends.

Your Boyfriend Drama Bores Us: Men are all about the thrill of the hunt, not about settling down with the pride for a Video City night with wine, candles, and talk about feelings. That is boring. We will help you find a boyfriend, pick out a great spot for first dates, and support you when guys treat you like crap and don't call back. However, once you have a boyfriend, he is yours to deal with. We don't care about petty domestic squabbles or how you wish he would spend less time with the Wii. If it's that bad, just break up with him. We'll help you find another.

We Won't Hit on Your Boyfriend In Front of You: If your gay friend helped you land a boyfriend he is probably attractive, well-employed, and very nice. Also, he is probably down with the gays, which means he won't really care when we flirt with him. Flirting with straight guys is the gay national pastime. It's like baseball, but with even more strike outs. Out of consideration, we will not do this in front of you, but when you leave us talking to him at a party or go to the bathroom at brunch, it's on.

Do Not Come to Our Clubs: A gay bar with too many women—especially the kind of club where frisky things are going on—makes everyone uncomfortable. Also, any gay in a bar with a girl is almost guaranteed not to get laid. When it's a night out at the gay bar, please stay at home. Here are some acceptable girlfriend activities: brunch, romantic comedies, dinner, house parties and mixed events, the theater. We're going to The Cock, let's get you a cab.

You Are Not a Gay Man Trapped in a Woman's Body: You may be fierce, sassy, sleep around, wear crazy outfits, and know the good lines from Pink Flamingos, but you are not a gay man. If you were, you would have a penis and a biological imperative to listen to only female vocalists. Even though you may act like it, please don't ever say it out loud.

Virtual Crush: Snow Villiers of Final Fantasy XIII

 

I do not own a PS3 yet, bu I do have plans in getting one in the near future. I have expressed before one of my personal Virtual Crushes in the form of Resident Evil 5's muscle-bound makeover of Chris Redfield, whose bulging biceps was the piece de resistance, which I indulged myself in official pictures and trailers and not some fan boy erotic art. Next in my Virtual Crushes list definitely adds to my list of reasons I want to buy a PS3.

 

Snow Villiers of the upcoming Final Fantasy XIII. Hunky, sensitive and a mass of fists of a person. In the game he revealed he was engaged to Serah, sister of the main protagonist Lightning, which so happens she doesn't approve. Eventually, the spurned sister and the hunky fiancé work together to save Serah.

Aside from the manly bruising and riding two girls, The Shiva Sisters forming a motorcycle, he shows that being the hurly-burly of fist violence he exhumes sensitivity and compassion to the one he loves, especially Serah. Amidst being hunted down and maltreated by his former employer instead of fighting back he just wants to see his fiancée in one piece.

Well, we have to play the game to find all the details. The game is already out in Japan and the English version will be out by March 2010.

Final Fantasy XIII Website

De-Smell Your Laptop With A USB Scent Flower

Men! Do you smell so bad that even your laptop has started stinking? Desperate times call for desperate measures, which means you might just have to consider this USB scent flower.

As your lookey-holes can see, it's in the shape of a flower, but don't let that put you off. You can't put a price on a harmonious working environment, nor be too picky about aesthetics. Besides, each bouquet—which retails for $9.99—has three refill cartridges which last for months. The USB flowers come in different colors and scents, so every day can be an Ocean Breeze, Purple Lavender, Pink Jasmine or White Chamomile day. Martha Stewart already owns 87 of them, I heard.

[USB scent flower via ChipChick]

 

Around The Nets: Snow Cartoons

 

Calvin, of Calvin and Hobbes, always had it out for snowmen, and now a similarly disgruntled soul has realized Calvin's scenes of snowman destruction. This compilation of 38 snowmen nightmares just might bring you a little joy when you're freezing your ass off this winter.

 

[Web Urbanist]

Venezuelan President Says Games Are "Poison"

Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez is not only a nutty man, he's a nutty man that hates video games. Hates them so much be believes they're "poison".

"Those games they call 'PlayStation' are poison", Chavez (left, in his Brotherhood of NOD costume) said on his weekly show Alo Presidente. "Some games teach you to kill. They once put my face on a game, 'you've got to find Chavez to kill him."

Think he means Mercenaries 2. And he's not done, continuing that games "promote the need for cigarettes, drugs and alcohol so they can sell them.". "They" being capitalist pigs like our good selves. "That's capitalism, the road to hell".

Tinpot dictators (well, he's close enough) say the darnedest things!

Sony's PlayStation is 'poison' to children: Chavez [AP]

First-Person Tetris Might Make You Queasy

I just tried playing Tetris in first-person which probably doesn't play out the way you expect it to.

If you don't get too sick playing first-person games, give it a try. It's free to play in a browser and, aside from potentially making players dizzy also has a night-time mode. Both interesting touches.

Be safe, gamers!

First Person Tetris [Via A Life Well Wasted podcast producer Robert Ashley's Twitter feed.]

The Endless Chocolate Bar Breaker Probably Won't Keep Me Slender

I love that crunch-clink sound a chocolate bar makes when I break it in two before stuffing both halves into my mouth. Thanks to this simulation keychain, I can have that sound without any of the calories. Or the oh-so-yummy-taste.

It's the whole "not real chocolate" part that's getting to me, even if the keychain comes in three flavors—milk chocolate, high-milk chocolate and white chocolate—so I think I'll just get some real chocolate instead. Something with almonds.

If you prefer to pretend breaking chocolate with this trinket though, it will be available in Japan at the end of the month for about $7 per bar.

[Bandai via CrunchGear via Oh Gizmo!]

Famous Knots of the World Illustrated in Earbuds

I can't tie a sheepshank knot off the top of my head, but more than once, I'm pretty sure I've tangled one by accident. (Yes, this is a Ford Sync ad, but it's quite clever.)

[AdsoftheWorld via 9GAG via TheNextWeb]